Sex Offenders vs Drunk Drivers

I think I could talk for hours about the topic of ‘sex offenders.’ It’s a hot topic around many kitchen tables and one that primarily focuses on concerns about whether a sex offender should be required to “register” for the public to see.

The whole concept might sound good for those of us that come with a protective instinct, but there are many items to consider and become educated on – for example, even knowing the whereabouts of a known sex offender does not prevent them from reoffending.

Sex offender recidivism rates are largely unknown by the public and honestly, not something that people really care about. What they care about is safety – keeping loved ones protected. Ironically, that’s where statistics and common sense fly in the face of the arguments supporting sex offender laws.

Consider this – sex crimes have the LOWEST recidivism rates (… outside of murder) when compared to drug offenses, DUI offenses, domestic violence, theft and assault. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2006) These are the facts, yet the public just doesn’t buy into them. They want to see sex offenders required to register but care little about other crimes.

A DUI is the perfect example. First, does anyone care to know how many DUI offenses you have to have until it’s considered a felony? But don’t stop there – how many DUI offenses until you go to prison or until you can’t remove/expunge it from your criminal record?

Would you let your loved ones be driven around by someone with a DUI conviction? Would you allow that person to pick your son up from a Boy Scouts meeting? Before you answer, consider that someone else may have a loved one that was hit by this exact person, perhaps handicapped for life.

Why pick on sex offenders? Why not place all DUI convictions on a special public list, color their license plate green or stamp there license “offender”?

The courts will allow someone convicted of a DUI to take ‘diversion’ – otherwise known as a ‘pass’. It’s a “3 strikes until we decide to do something” policy.

It’s not that way with sex offenders. One strike… you’re out… and out in a big way.

I can honestly say that when I was convicted, the atmosphere was tense because of the registration. Serving time and/or being on probation/parole was nothing compared to being red-flagged on a public ‘shame’ list.

I think about all the good men and women that simply did something dumb. (… I know, that’s a blanket statement, but hang with me.) Should they be restricted as to where they can live? Should they be restricted as to where they can work? That’s what the sex offender registration does.

I realize that my thinking may fly in the face of most logic and I also realize that there are extreme cases that warrant stiff punishments. But it just makes me upset because when I’m told that I can’t attend a school ‘carnival’ or a Boy Scout ‘pine wood derby’ event because I’m on ‘the list’ – it’s just flat out hazing. Nothing makes these events (… events more crowed with adults than children) more safe with me staying at home.

In fact, think of all the other adults at these events that have done something bad or dumb but simply don’t have to ‘register’ publicly. I bet no one would want their kids at these events if they knew the truth!

Yes, someday I’d like to see the sex offenders law changed. Not that I think they need to be more lenient – I’m all for punishment – just more balanced and reflective of what purpose they need to serve. In a nutshell, I believe that public registration is wrong. It’s gotten way out of hand, creates hysteria and is just flat out being used as a false sense of public security.

Sex and the City

Sex and the city was a hit television show which premiered first in the year 1998 and the last show of this part comedy part drama was aired in 2004. This television series was based on the book by Candace Bushnell “Sex and the City”.

The story of four young women professionals

The series portrayed the lives of four young women professionals living in New York City and their search for sex, love, passion and maybe a perfect relationship. The format of the series was comedy and it was created by Darren Star. The main cast included Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon and Kim Cattrall. Based on this series, in 2008 the movie was also released which was directed and written by Michael Patrick King. This movie that was based on “sex and the city” series was again a romantic drama with a tinge of comedy.

A new perspective on today’s lifestyle

The television series “sex and the city” portrayed aptly the lifestyle of single women in a large city. In fact it echoes today’s reality where more and more women are joining the professional work force and are rediscovering the meaning of freedom, sex, orgasm, love and relationships.

The series brings alive the widest possible shades of human thought, emotion and feeling ranging from short term passionate relationships, long term working relationships and the desire to find true love.

The four women characters of the series are caught in the whirlpool of these basic human instincts and each episode portrays the ups & downs and the sweetness-bitterness of the numerous unfolding relationships that they have in the city.

Apart from the drama part, this series also handled socially relevant and contentious issues related to STD’s, safe sex, multiple partners, promiscuity and the changing roles and definitions for women in society.

The study of the television series “sex and the city” as a subject with relevance to today’s evolving society cannot be complete without touching in detail the following topics-

The Premise of the series, Overview of characters, Episodes, Opening theme, Viewer response and impact, Awards and recognition for the series, Quotations, Film and Pop culture references.

Sex and the city: More than sex or fashion

I would say that the television series “sex and the city” was more than sex or fashion. It was a genuine attempt at exploring the true meaning of human freedom and the meaning of being sincerely single and ruthlessly truthful about your own self as well as the relationships that you get into.

For free information and advice on topics and issues related to women, visit [http://www.rise-of-womanhood.org]

[http://www.rise-of-womanhood.org]

This site envisions the rise of womanhood in true sense that is the rise of the “essence” of womanhood in the physical, mental, intellectual and the spiritual planes. It calls for the beginning of a campaign for the true rise of women in all spheres of life for the restoration of the balance in nature.

Somewhere we have to make a beginning and it’s always better if we make the initiation at our own self. We can strengthen this mass movement for the “rise of womanhood” by bringing about the necessary changes in our own life as felt by our inner self. Further we can transmit the new thinking to others who care to listen. A small step today will definitely lead to a giant leap tomorrow.

Sex Offenders Revealed

In this article, I refer to sex offenders in the masculine he, him, his. This is for two reasons; most sex offenders, by a very large margin, are male; and it makes the writing of the article easier. The reader needs to know that everything I am writing applies also to female sex offenders, who make up approximately two per cent of the sex offender population in America.

As I sit here watching a certain newsrag program on a certain cable news channel, I hear an obnoxious woman start quoting statistics about sex offenders that are appalling! It makes me think to myself, “If they are so dangerous, why do we let them back on the streets? Why don’t we just lock them up for life? If it is true that almost all sex offenders re-offend, we should never let them out of prison again.” And this line of thought led me to my favorite question: Why are we doing it?

When the woman on the news show started spouting her statistics, I wrote them down to verify them. Here were the claims that were made: 90% of sex offenders will re-offend. 90% of sex offenders will commit a new sex crime within 3 years. Sex offenders cannot be treated. All child molesters are pedophiles. The only treatment that works for sex offenders is execution.

I immediately suspected there was some sort of conspiracy here. I thought for sure that the government was hiding something from us and releasing sex offenders back into the population for some nefarious purpose. I was determined to get to the bottom of it and report this information to you, the public.

Surprisingly, I did find a conspiracy after all. But it isn’t the one you think. The conspirators turned out to be news media. Newspapers, cable networks, magazines and even public networks. It seems that it is more expedient to MAKE UP the news than report on the truth. The media is responsible in a very large part for the myths and misconceptions surrounding these individuals. By misreporting information over the years, the media has been able to instill enough fear into our society that the mere mention of the term sex offender on their network increases ratings. Increased ratings mean more advertising dollars. Since we are willing and actually desire to hate sex offenders, we are also responsible for perpetuating these myths.

Sex offenders are amongst the worst of the worst of our society. We love to hate them. I will not make any excuse for them such as “they are misunderstood individuals,” or they are a “product of their society.” They aren’t. They are perverts with mental deficiencies who have chosen to commit crimes of the most despicable nature. They are sick people who need treatment, but not in the way a cancer patient is sick. Rather, they are sick in the way a drug addict or alcoholic is sick.

The myths and misconceptions surrounding sex offenders usually result in a stereotype of a grizzled old man hiding behind a bush and drooling over children in a park and offering a pocketful of candy (as in, “I have some candy in my pocket little girl, just reach in and grab some.”) The truth is, this kind of offender is very rare; most child victims will be molested in their own home or in the home of a trusted friend or relative. Most rape victims will be assaulted by a spouse or trusted friend. But, by perpetuating the myths, the media and general public can make themselves feel better about demanding the worst types of vengeance. It is easier to punish the stranger than the person we know and love. In doing this, according to the Hindman Foundation, a nationally recognized leader in the treatment of sex abuse victims, “many problems emerge with the detection, prosecution and management of sex offenders.”

So, let’s discuss the FACTS about sex offenders.

According to the Bureau of Justice, “Sex offenders were less likely than non-sex offenders to be rearrested for any offense: 43 percent of sex offenders versus 68 percent of non-sex offenders.” Remember, the loud-mouthed news reporter said it was 90%. Where did she get this fact? The truth is, she made it up. I found absolutely no corroborating evidence anywhere to support her claim. In fact, the most reputable agencies who track these statistics don’t even support the claim that “most” sex offenders will re-offend.

The Bureau of Justice further reports that, “Within 3 years of release, 2.5% of released rapists were rearrested for another rape.” Additionally, when it comes to child victimizers, they report that “An estimated 3.3%… were rearrested for another sex crime against a child within 3 years of release from prison.”

I came across one website of a fear monger who claimed that 25% of sex offenders will commit another sex offense within 15 years. When I contacted the owner of that site requesting that he tell me how he came up with that information he sent me back a reply which basically said that he made the number up after he read some reports and didn’t like their results.

Remember, the Bureau of Justice numbers are based on actual arrests, convictions, releases, re-arrests and new convictions in all 50 States.

Another reputable agency, the Center for Sex Offender Management, reports a bit differently, though they do not disclose how they arrived at their numbers. According to them, “child molesters had a 13% reconviction rate for sexual offenses and a 37% reconviction rate for new, non-sex offenses over a five year period” and “rapists had a 19% reconviction rate for sexual offenses and a 46% reconviction rate for new, non-sexual offenses over a five year period.”

Additionally they report, “Another study found reconviction rates for child molesters to be 20% and for rapists to be approximately 23% (Quinsey, Rice, and Harris, 1995).” It should be noted that these numbers are based on a considerably smaller control number than the BoJ. It doesn’t make their results any less valid, but it is important to put the information in perspective.

If the CSOM studies are based on a sampling of records, then they have to face the possibility that the records that were handed over to them were not random but rather, designed to meet some person?s political ambitions. Further, if they are based on local records, then those results are only good for a small area of the country. Since they did not disclose how they arrived at their results, we have no way of knowing how to understand their study. But it should be noted that they report on their website that sexually based offenses are typically underreported which could explain why their numbers are a bit higher than the BoJ’s. Also, the BoJ statistics are based on actual convictions and do not take into consideration charges dropped due to plea bargains and such. This may also contribute to the slightly higher numbers from CSOM.

Regardless of which numbers you believe, the fact still remains that sex offenders are vastly less likely to re-offend than any other criminal. Myth: the recidivism rate amongst sex offenders is 90%… BUSTED! (Myth: certain loud mouthed newsrag hosts make up statistics in order to increase ratings?CONFIRMED!)

Next we need to examine the claim that sex offenders cannot be successfully treated. I was recently watching an episode of Law and Order, Special Victim’s Unit where Ice T’s character stated that sex offenders could not be treated because they cannot learn to control their urges. (Please don’t hold it against Ice T. He is only an actor who was reciting lines that writers provided him. You can hold it against the writers for not verifying their facts.) Again, the statement made by that character and the statement made by Ms. Blonde Ambition are not supported by the facts. CSOM reports:

“Treatment programs can contribute to community safety because those who attend and cooperate with program conditions are less likely to re-offend than those who reject intervention.” Again, it is important to read what was really said here. I highlighted those words for a reason. The offender must be compliant with treatment conditions in order for the treatment to be effective. If the offender is non-cooperative, the risk of re-offense increases by as much as eight per cent as will be discussed below.

CSOM, when discussing treatment options for offenders, tells us that: “The majority of sex offender treatment programs in the United States and Canada now use a combination of cognitive-behavioral treatment and relapse prevention (designed to help sex offenders maintain behavioral changes by anticipating and coping with the problem of relapse). Offense specific treatment modalities generally involve group and/or individual therapy focused on victimization awareness and empathy training, cognitive restructuring, learning about the sexual abuse cycle, relapse prevention planning, anger management and assertiveness training, social and interpersonal skills development, and changing deviant sexual arousal patterns.”

A unique form of treatment that has yielded tremendous results over the past couple of decades is called ?restitution therapy? which requires the perpetrator to take responsibility for his actions and to, for lack of a better term, ?submit? to the victim. In doing this, the perpetrator relinquishes power and returns it to the victim. As will be discussed briefly later, this is very good for the victim?s treatment and recovery process.

They go on to say, “Different types of offenders typically respond to different treatment methods with varying rates of success. Treatment effectiveness is often related to multiple factors, including:

1- the type of sexual offender (e.g., incest offender or rapist);

2- the treatment model being used (e.g., cognitive-behavioral, relapse prevention, psycho-educational, psycho-dynamic, or pharmacological);

3- the treatment modalities being used; and

4- related interventions involved in probation and parole community supervision.

Several studies present optimistic conclusions about the effectiveness of treatment programs that are empirically based, offense-specific, and comprehensive (Lieb, Quinsey, and Berliner, 1998). The only meta-analysis of treatment outcome studies to date has found a small, yet significant treatment effect an 8% reduction in the recidivism rate for offenders who participated in treatment (Hall, 1995). Research also demonstrates that sex offenders who fail to complete treatment programs are at increased risk for both sexual and general recidivism (Hanson and Bussiere, 1998).”

In other words, sex offenders are less likely to re-offend than other criminals and if they are amenable to treatment they are even less likely than non-treated sex offenders to re-offend. Myth: Sex offender treatment does not work. The only treatment for sex offenders is execution: BUSTED! But in fairness, I must say it is busted with caveats.

Not all sex offenders are willing to undergo treatment. Reasons for this range from just plain denial that they have a problem to the fact that it is incredibly uncomfortable and difficult to discuss the root causes of the criminal behavior. Since it appears that over 98% of sex offenders are male, it makes sense that they would be unwilling to discuss these issues. In our culture and society, we tend to raise our boys in a manner that reinforces this behavior. With our understanding of human psychology increasing yearly, this cultural behavior is slowly changing.

We are finally beginning to understand that it is okay to let our boys cry and it is okay to discuss emotions and sex. This is a recent development and the more conservative elements in our society are still against such things. Sex is at the root of their anxieties. We have made sex such a taboo subject for so long, we can no longer bear to discuss this with our children. Ironically, these same people who will not discuss sex with their children are also at the forefront of the battle to keep sexual education out of our public schools. It seems that they just don’t want anyone to know about sex. It seems that conservative elements are trying to push their ideal that sex is somehow evil or solely for the purpose of reproduction and should not, under any circumstances, be enjoyed by those participating in such activity. And then we wonder why people are developing sexually deviant behavior.

Sex offenders have the ability to cross taboo boundaries that ordinary people seem to be unable to cross. It is the opinion of many sex offender treatment providers that the reason this is possible is because of the fact that we don’t discuss emotions, sexual respect and such with our young children. It seems that most sex offenders come from these kinds of conservative households. Again, from the category of irony, most sex offenders report that they were NOT molested as a child which is commonly thought by the general public. It also seems that most children who are sexually molested do not grow up to be sexual predators or sexual criminals as is also commonly thought by the general public.

So why are they able to cross those taboo boundaries that ordinary (notice that I do not use the word “normal”) people don’t? Theories abound about this. For some, it is to satisfy their need for power. Others get a thrill out of crossing those boundaries in the same way that a person gets a thrill from jumping out of an airplane. Still, others believe they have a religious right to engage in certain activities, such as incest. There are a host of other reasons, but I list these three as examples of the workings of the sex offender mind.

Sex offenders come in a variety of flavors. They are typically classified in the following categories: power rapists, indiscriminate child molesters, pedophiles, all others (this includes incest related crimes, prostitution, pimping, voyeurism/exhibitionism, etc.) It is interesting to note that the power rapists and the indiscriminate child molesters have the lowest recidivism rates (according to the BoJ website, it is 2.5% for rapists and 3.3% for child victimizers) leaving one to question the conventional wisdom about incarceration vs. treatment. With those statistics in mind, it means that the bulk of the sex offenders who re-offend are the pimps and prostitutes! With everyone up in arms about sex offense incarceration terms not being long enough for repeat offenders, why, then, are these offenders not receiving longer prison sentences?

Additionally, the question of registration must be revisited. It is obvious by the statistics that it is not the sex offenders we need to worry about. Once they are caught and undergo treatment, it is highly unlikely they are going to re-offend. However, other criminals, who are much more likely to re-offend, should be the ones registering. The other side of the coin is that as long as the sex offender’s whereabouts is known, it helps his neighbors and the supervision officials to keep tabs on him increasing the chances of his successful rehabilitation.

Pedophiles are a unique subset of sex offenders. Most people believe that any child molester is a pedophile. That is not the case. A pedophile is one who has a mental disorder that causes him to become sexually aroused ONLY to primary sexual characteristics. Primary sexual characteristics are those of a young child or (in the case of a hebophile) a pubescent child. This means they display the undeveloped or developing sexual characteristics such as lack of body hair, undeveloped penis, vagina or breasts, or, in the case of the developing adolescent, very little in the way of pubic hair, developing breasts, vagina or penis. Myth: All child molesters are pedophiles?BUSTED.

An indiscriminate child molester is different from the pedophile in that the child molester is aroused by both the secondary sexual characteristics of an adult, that is, developed sexual organs and mature body, as well as the primary sexual characteristics of the child or pubescent adolescent.

The reason that the distinction is important is that indiscriminate child molesters can be treated successfully and, as yet, there is no means of effective treatment for pedophiles. Unfortunately, there is no known method for increasing sexual arousal to secondary sexual characteristics. The best that can be done for the pedophile is to decrease his sexual arousal to children through the use of negative behavioral modification. This means that they expose the pedophile to audio and visual stimulation and allow him to become aroused. When he becomes aroused they cause some sort of negative thing to happen to cause his mind to associate the arousal with a negative action. For example, they may shoot a blast of ammonia up his nose at the moment he begins to become aroused. This is an extremely unpleasant experience, so the brain begins, over time, to associate deviant arousal to children with the negative experience of ammonia being forced up his nose. This will lead to a decrease in arousal to children.

Once this has been achieved, cognitive modification and restitution therapy can then take place allowing the pedophile to learn to control his impulses to react to children. The combination is usually sufficient to give the pedophile all the tools he needs to prevent himself from acting out on the deviant behavior again. It should be noted that pedophilia is an extremely rare condition. It occurs in less than 1% of all child molesters. The popular media use of the word to describe all child molesters is a deliberate misuse of the term.

Child molesters and power rapists can be treated effectively through the use of cognitive restructuring, negative behavior modification, intensive self therapy, and, of course, by being made to take responsibility for their actions, also known as restitution therapy.

There is a pervasive fear amongst the population that the convicted sex offender may move in next door. This irrational fear is based upon the popular myths perpetrated by the media. The truth is that the known sex offender is not the one of whom you need be afraid; you need to be afraid of the one you don’t know about. So who are they?

Typically, the sex offender works in a construction or industrial related job in a blue collar capacity. He is someone whom you know well, say a family member, neighbor or close friend. Usually it will be said of him that he was the last person one would have suspected of such behavior. He will be a church-goer, model citizen and pillar of the community.

This is not the case with all sex offenders, just the vast majority of them. Just because you know of a construction worker or factory worker who happens to be a nice guy and attends church and PTA meetings doesn’t mean he is a sex offender. Remember, most people are exactly what they seem to be. The difference is that the sex offender has to pretend to be like everyone else because he knows he is not.

That guy lurking behind the bushes with a pocketful of candy drooling over children should also be suspected. Don’t think that just because it is unlikely that he is a sex offender that he isn’t. What I am telling you is that you are very unlikely to come across someone of that type. If you fear for the safety of a child, err on the side of caution and call the police. I usually don’t advocate the calling of authorities before you have taken preventative measures of your own first, but in this case, you could be preventing a child from being molested. You could be forcing a sex offender to receive the treatment he needs to be a productive and law abiding citizen. In this case, I support using the authorities.

The next question is, how should they be punished? Many say that since they are sentencing their victims to a lifetime of pain and misery, the offender should spend their life without their freedom. On the surface, this sounds reasonable. But when we dig deeper, we see that the reasoning is not valid. In most cases of rape or molestation, it usually takes the between three and five years of therapy and hard work to overcome the feelings of powerlessness and emptiness they experience. If they are motivated to recover from their experience, and they are willing to confront their victimizer, they can usually fully recover. (Yes, I said, face their victimizer. Therapists universally agree that this is an integral step, usually toward the end of their therapy, which should be taken under very controlled circumstances. Maybe I will write an article about this later as it is a fascinating subject. In essence, the victimizer has the power taken from him by the victim thus placing the power back where it belongs.)

I know that it sounds like I am minimizing the ability of the victim to recover. I do not intend it to seem that way. I know that there is a lot of pain and suffering involved in the recovery process. The reason I only touch on it here rather than go into depth about it is because this article is about the offenders, not the victims. I will write an article about victims another time as my research into their condition concludes. I am still gathering data.

I also know that there are people who will never recover from their trauma because trauma affects everyone differently. These cases are in the extreme minority. I understand their situation and my heart goes out to them. But the facts are still the facts. Most people recover.

With this being the case, is it right to keep the sex offender behind bars forever? If we remove our emotions from the argument and listen solely to the facts, the only answer can be “no,” not at all. This is a hard argument for me to make since the specter of this vile crime has touched my life as it has so many others. It is not easy to let go of the hurt that the perpetrator caused his victim and those of us who trusted him. But, once I do let go of the anger and pain, I can see clearly that the facts do not support my emotional status.

This is not to say that my emotions are wrong, they are not. I have the right to feel betrayed, angry and hurt. But I, like so many others, will get over it.

Back on topic, what then, becomes a fair punishment? Execution? Well, for the fear mongers, this seems to be their punishment of choice. Castration? This option makes absolutely no sense at all. Removing the testicles of a sex offender will NOT reduce the impulse. Sexual offending takes place in the brain, not the penis or the testicles. If the intention is to remove the offender’s DNA from the gene pool, then we will also have to kill any children the offender may have had, which also makes no sense, not to mention is barbaric to even consider. Chemical castration, which uses Depo-Provera to reduce the sexual urge also makes no sense for the same reason. So it seems that incarceration is the only viable alternative.

So how long should a sex offender be incarcerated?

There was a study done some 20 years ago (unfortunately, I have been unable to find it on the internet and I admit I am working solely from memory about this study) that suggested that after three years of incarceration, an inmate will either have learned his lesson or he will never learn his lesson. During the original three years, the inmate is usually in denial of his crime or is railing against the system or is involved in the appeals process. So it makes sense, then, that if it is going to take the offender that long to come to the realization that he needs to take responsibility for crime, the punishment then should be, after three years of incarceration, the real prison term should begin. If it takes an average of five years for the victim to overcome their pain and suffering, then let the perpetrator serve eight years. Three years to get the nonsense out of his system and five years for his victim.

Now, I admit that the argument is made with some emotion. Again, the facts don’t support my emotional argument. It costs far less to have a sex offender undergo treatment than it does to incarcerate him. It typically costs between $5000 and $15,000 per year to put a sex offender on an intensive supervision plan WITH treatment. Conversely, to incarcerate WITHOUT treatment, averages $22,000 per year. After the incarceration, the taxpayers then have to cough up the money for the supervision and treatment. The offender has to pick up much of this cost himself by paying a fee for supervision and by being required to pay for his treatment. But the taxpayer still has to cover some of the burden.

If the treatment option is working, why are we not discussing using that option first? Or at the very least why not be treating them while they are incarcerated?

One would think that in a country that has 20% of the worlds criminal element incarcerated, we would be trying to come up with ways to stop the cycle of violence! For example, what is being done to prevent the situation from happening in the first place? I personally know of a situation where the parents of a child were concerned that their child’s behavior put him at risk to become a sex offender. They approached a therapist about it and the therapist said that the law prohibited him from doing anything about it until AFTER the child had committed a crime!

Yes, the problem is a complex one because it raises so many issues about the right to privacy, invasion of privacy by the government, unreasonable search and seizure issues, and a host of other Constitutional issues. But, at the same time, if we can prevent one child from becoming a monster, that means that we can prevent approximately 115 victims. That’s right, 115. It has been determined that each sex offender creates an average of 115 victims before he is caught.

This subject is so full of myths and misconceptions that I could continue on for many more pages and still only scratch the surface. If this topic stirs up enough debate, maybe I will write another. For example, I have only barely touched on the fact that the media deliberately misrepresents this issue for the purpose of obtaining higher ratings. In fact, I learned that one year, not to long ago, television stations and cable stations ALL used the sex offender issue to gain ratings during Sweeps week! In some cases it worked, and in others it did not. In fact, the only program of all the ones I watch on a regular basis, that did NOT use that issue to gain ratings was Star Trek; Voyager. (That probably gives away how long ago it was that this happened.)

I cannot put the issue more succinctly than the late Jan Hindman, when she said:

“It is not enough to shed tears for those who suffer the tragedy of sexual abuse, nor will much be accomplished nurturing hatred and devising punishments for those who sexually abuse. Only by sharing knowledge, providing training, exchanging ideas, and challenging traditional beliefs and biases can we respond effectively to sexual victimization.”

I have obviously not touched on ALL the issues involved with sex offenders. My primary goal was to dispel some of the myths surrounding sex offenders. If we can begin to understand the true nature of these people, maybe we can stop living in fear. If we can learn to educate our children to be on guard for these individuals without being afraid of them, maybe we can prevent more children from becoming victims. If we can learn more about how we can help these people become responsible citizens they will stop being a drain on our society’s resources.

A new voice has arisen on the internet. A voice determined to expose the truth and reality about various events and myths that are affecting the United States and the world. His name is Iacchos Deru (pronounced YAH-kose De-ROO). Iacchos is the pseudonym of a writer, philosopher and observer who has noticed the unfortunate turn of events in the United States and around the world that threaten sanity, security and Freedom.

Sightseeing in New York City

New York City is one of the greatest tourist destinations in the world; a city steeped in history and culture and boasting some of the greatest architectural attractions in the world, there is no shortage of things to do and see while visiting the Big Apple.

In fact if you are planning on visiting you should plan your itinerary quite carefully as the likelihood that you will be able to fit in a visit to every one of the greatest New York attractions is slim.
While the legendary attractions like the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, Central Park and Times Square are a definite must, there is so much more to New York Travel. There are the artworks at Whitney Museum of American Art, MoMA and Metropolitan Museum of Art; the spectacular architecture encompassed by Brooklyn Bridge and the Flatiron and Chrysler Buildings and of course, the fantastic retail outlets!
With so much to do and see many visitors opt to take a New York tour or two during their stay. There are a wide variety of New York City sightseeing tours available, so the tours you decide on will depend entirely on your preferences.

New York Sightseeing Tours

A Bird’s Eye View

If you are looking for something a little out of the ordinary when it comes to New York sightseeing tours, an air tour of the Big Apple is a must. Viewing this amazing city from a helicopter is truly extraordinary as it gives you a perspective that you will not get from land based New York tours. There are various New York air tours available which range from comprehensive sightseeing tours of New York City to Statue of Liberty tours and romantic flights over Manhattan.

City Cruises

New York cruise tours give travelers the opportunity to take in the sights and sounds of the Big Apple from a distance. There are various types of cruise tours available in New York; there are day cruises around Manhattan harbor, glamorous dinner and dancing cruises, Statue of Liberty tour cruises and cruises in which you watch the glittering holiday lights. Cruises are an excellent option to keep in mind when considering which New York sightseeing tour to book during your holiday in the Big Apple.

Shop Till You Drop

New York and shopping are synonymous concepts – there is no better way to visit the most eclectic range of retail havens than with a New York shopping tour. Visit the Garment District; feast your eyes on the magnificent window displays along Madison Avenue, behold the splendors of Saks Fifth Avenue or buy trinkets from the street vendors on Canal Street. A New York sightseeing tour of this variety will give you a great introduction to sumptuous shopping in New York City.

Step by Step

Walking tours in New York are extremely popular as you get to experience many of the attractions that are not even visible from the bus tour routes. New York tour guides will show you locations where historic events took place, share the stories of the generations who tread the paths before you and expose you to some of the city’s hidden gems. The Luxury Chocolate Walking Tour is an absolute must for any chocolate lover visiting New York. The chocolate treats from the street cafes and bistros of the Upper East Side will leave you with a new appreciation for this heavenly delight.

Beautiful Bus Routes

One of the most popular offerings when it comes to New York sightseeing tours, bus tours allow visitors to experience quite a lot as they cover more ground than walking tours. There are several types of bus tours in New York and the tour you select will depend what your main interests are. There are tours that focus solely on the main attractions, historical tours, movie and television tours and tours that expose travelers to a little bit of everything.
One of the most popular bus tours in New York City “Sex in the City” tour which features 40 locations from the hit television series. Sit on Carrie’s apartment stoop, visit the series’ local bar and pass the shoe store where Carrie blew most of her salary cheques.

No matter which type of tour you chose you are bound to be enthralled by the views, attractions and the sights and sounds that are unique to New York City.

At New York Journey we have developed an informative, up-to-date directory of New York attractions and fantastic New York Hotels. There are also several New York sightseeing tours available on this site during which you will get the chance to see the top New York City attractions. These tours are sometimes the best way to see as many of the New York attractions as possible in a relatively short space of time.

Are There Sex Offenders in My Area?

You see it all the time. Every day the news is full of stories about peaceful neighborhoods shocked by a horrible crime committed by a sex offender living right under their noses. How many times have you heard the next door neighbor say “He seemed like such a nice, quiet guy. I can’t believe he would do something like this.”

Sound familiar?

It was after seeing one of these terrible stories on the news that it suddenly dawned on me. What if there are sex offenders in my area?

The thought hit me like a ton of bricks. There could be sex offenders in my neighborhood and I had no idea who or where they were. It scared the hell out of me. I started getting overly-protective of my kids, and I was suspicious of every man I passed on the street. I needed to find out if there were any sexual offenders in my area.

So I started doing some research online and I discovered that all sex offenders are required to register with the national sex offender list. This list contains detailed information on all sex offenders including their name, address, and details of the crime they committed.

I signed up with a website that allows me to access the list and look for sex offenders in my area. I entered my zip code and was relieved to find that none of my neighbors are on the list. Unfortunately, the towns neighboring my own have a sex offender living inside their borders. But just knowing that they don’t live right next door to me is a relief.

But what about you? How well do you really know your neighbors? The only way to know for sure is to check the national sex offender list

National Sex Offender List

Did you know that there are currently about 500,000 registered sex offenders living in the United States right now? What if one of them lives in the house across the street from you? Makes you a little suspicious doesn’t it?

If the thought of living next to a former rapist or child molester scares you, there is a way to put your mind at ease. Just hop on your computer and check out the National Sex Offender List which contains detailed information on each of the half million registered sex offenders living in the US.

You’ll receive detailed information including their name, address, known aliases, and type of offense they were convicted of. This information is extremely valuable. Its always wise to be aware of your surroundings and informed of potential threats.

There are several websites that allow you to access the national sex offender list. All you have to do is enter your state or zip code and click on “Search”. In just a few seconds you’ll receive a list of offenders that live within that area. You will have to pay a one-time fee to access the full details of the report.

If I find someone I know on the list should I confront them?

Absolutely not. Not only is that potentially dangerous, its also illegal. The Department of Justice specifically states that anyone who uses the information contained in the national sex offender list “to threaten, intimidate, or harass any individual, including registrants or family members, or who otherwise misuses this information, may be subject to criminal prosecution or civil liability under federal and/or state law.”

Sex and The City Party Ideas

Sex and the City 2 comes out on DVD October 26th, so now’s the time to plan a party!

A Sex and the City party is perfect for a girls night in, and it won’t break the bank!

Invitations:

E-vite has a Sex and the City invitation, and it’s FREE! If you haven’t tried E-vite.com, it’s FREE, easy to use and they’ll keep track of your rsvp’s!
Invitation wording: Bring on the cosmos and couture! Sex and the City 2 is coming out on DVD, and just as the four fabulous Manhattanites would, we need to make this a night to remember! Don’t miss out on the fun night of fancy finger food, girl talk, and accessory swap, a trivia contest, the movie and more! Please bring a gently used fashionable accessory for the swap…suggestions: scarves, hats, purses or big baubles that are collecting dust in your closet! Just think…with a little luck you may go home with an accessory you adore! Party attire: fashionable outfits inspired by your favorite characters are encouraged!
Invitation Cost: $0
Decorations:

gather shoe boxes, shoes and magazines.
Run white tulle around the centerpiece.
Scatter strands of pink curling ribbon all over the table.
Stand back and admire your Sex and the City centerpiece!
Decoration Cost: $10 for balloons (The secret to frugal entertaining is working with what you have!)
Drinks:

Cosmos…of course!
Having 1 signature cocktail will help keep costs down.
Food…we served fun finger food, but you could opt for Chinese take-out like the Sex and the City gals!

Sushi Tray
Popcorn…lots of fun flavors!
Martini Glasses filled with M&M’s
Food & Drink Cost for a party with 10 guests: $30.
Accessory Swap Party Game:

Everybody brings a gently used accessory to swap…purses, scarves, hat or costume jewelry.
Display all the accessories on a table.
To begin, sit in a circle and have everybody tell the story of their unwanted accessory. For example, I won this purse in a raffle, and it’s not my style or my sister-in-law gave me this elegant scarf, but I never dress up!
Now it’s time to draw numbers and start swapping.
#1 gets to choose the accessory they want, then #2 and so on! Of course, to make it fun…stealing is encouraged, but remember only 3 steals per accessory.
Accessory Swap Cost: $0
Trivia Game Questions:

Question: Why did Charlotte quit her job at the museum?
Answer: To start a family with Trey
Question: Who wrote the book that the TV show is based on?
Answer: Candace Bushnell
Question: What newspaper does Carrie write for?
Answer: New York Star
Question: Who did Dolce & Gabbana select to model in a show for them in the 4th season?
Answer: Carrie
Question: Which of the girls married first?
Answer: Charlotte
Question: Which girl was first to have a baby?
Answer: Miranda
Question: Which girl is oldest?
Answer: Samantha
Question: What was the name of Steve’s bar?
Answer: Scout
We bought a painted martini glass from Homegood’s ($4) for the winner!
Trivia Game Cost: $4 for the prize!
End the evening with popcorn and the Sex and the City 2 movie that you’ll rent!

Total Party Cost: less than $50!

 

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Sex and the City Wedding Speech

Who would have ever thought that a show about four single girls in New York City, who embark on a quest to find true love, would have one of the most beautiful wedding speeches ever written? That was delivered by the main character herself, Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw. She said this at the wedding of Miranda’s friend and interior decorator, where she was invited along with Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte.

You can use this one speech as a template for your own. It will surely be a good ending to your speech. The Sex and the City wedding speech is one magical speech that can make your heart melt as soon as you read it.

Sex and the City Wedding Speech: The Words

Here are the words to what can be considered as the most romantic Sex and the City wedding speech ever written. As you go through the speech, you would realize that it is a poem dedicated to the couple. A poem is one great example of how you can compose your speech.

It tells about how they completed each other and how important they were in each other’s life. The Sex and the City wedding speech shows that the moment you find your true love, it will be the beginning of your time forever with this person. Here is a synopsis of the speech.

His hello was the end of her endings

Her laugh was his first step down the aisle

His hand would be hers to hold forever

His forever was as simple as her smile

He said she was what was missing

She said she instantly knew

She was a question to be answered

And his answer was “I do”

The Sex and the City wedding speech above is one great example of how poems can be used as a speech at the wedding you are going to attend. It will give the romantic edge that the occasion needs to have that perfect wedding feel.

If you use this wedding speech, the audience will be enthralled by your words. Remember that you can also make some changes to the speech if you see fit. You do not have to copy it as it is. It is even advisable to make up your own so that you will not have difficulty in remembering the words because they came from you.

Sex and the City Wedding Speech: Writing Your Own

As stated above, you can write your own speech based on the Sex and the City wedding speech. You can write about how much you love each other and how much you are willing to give to one another. What is important is that you are able to express how you feel and speak the truth during the ceremony.

The Sex and the City wedding speech can really help you as an example in writing your own speech. It will give you the right words to express your love for your spouse.

Thank you for the time you spent with me reading this article about sex and the city wedding speech! I’d also love to meet you on my blog to have a chance to tell you more about wedding speeches – actually you could start by browsing the category page for wedding speeches examples right away – you will want to share it with others.

A very talented writer, Stacy Craig has a writing experience of many years. She is currently working as the senior editor at Raw Nuke, and has written content for many websites and blogs worldwide. She is working in affiliation with many companies, and her work has received much admiration from several clients. Her work is known to be excellent, and delivered within deadlines.

Currently, Stacy Craig cooperates with ExtraFindouts.Com’s Wedding Speeches Guide – the first place to get help with your wedding speech. Here you can find many articles, guides, tips, help, advice and much more for any type of wedding speeches you’re having this or the very next weekend!

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FBI Sex Offender List and Records – What You Don’t Know Could Hurt You Or Someone Else

As a licensed minister, motivational speaker, and author of several books continuously in the public eye I take my reputation pretty seriously. While temporarily transitioning professionally after just getting married, I sought to take a job as a public school teacher at a local high school. I was immediately hired.

After completing orientation at the local county school board, I was ready begin the following Monday. That is until I received a phone call from the personnel investigator requesting that I appear before him at the local school board for a face to face interview before I commenced work.

Not knowing what this was about, I felt all weekend a bit nervous, like I was going to the principal’s office back in high school. The suspense was eating at me as the investigator refused to talk about the matter over the telephone. To comply with his request, I made the hour-and-a-half drive to the local county school board and appeared to answer his questions.

After the initial greeting and giving my driver’s license to the investigator, he began questioning me. Curiously, he asked if I had ever been to Parkridge, Illinois. I couldn’t say I had, nor had I ever heard about the place (which I was later told was a small suburb of 30,000 people outside of Chicago).

Later I learned that someone bearing my same name and nearly my same birthday (assuming it wasn’t identity theft, which I had experienced with a credit card the last time I stayed in Chicago when passing through for a day) had been arrested for a sex offense.

Knowing assuredly it wasn’t me, I immediately went home and visited the State of Illinois’ website and navigated to the sex offender link. Upon typing in my name, I found three males all who were sex offenders. Thankfully there pictures were also visible, further verifying they were not me. Of course that was a relief.

I immediately phoned the Parkridge Police Department and informed them, asking them to clear my good name. I also printed out the description of these three men along with their photographs and faxed them along with my driver’s license and passport to the Parkridge Police. Detective Ware told me “this is ridiculous” commenting on the fact our images didn’t match, neither our fingerprints.

Yet the FBI file was showing me whenever my social security number was being pulled up. The moral of the story is if you have a common name, or a name that someone else also bears; you may be unpleasantly surprised to find crimes on your criminal FBI report. It was then I realized why for over 2 years whenever Homeland Security and the U.S. Government ran background checks on me for high level governmental jobs, it was taking so long.

Thankfully I now am working through this and correcting the inaccuracies on record.

For God sake before you judge a person, do some thorough research and know the facts. Unfortunately investigator Chandler who did my background check for Homeland Security in 2007 told me that most likely few agencies or employers will be diligently enough to actually check and verify the records, and tend to believe whatever they pull up.

Host a “Sex and the City” Martini Party

Welcome to the big city, Manhattan, NYC.

Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha are surely all Martini Girls. Martinis have played a big role in the TV show and movie, “Sex and the City”, since the beginning. The concoction of choice always seems to return to the Cosmopolitan, which is Carrie’s favorite drink.

So you’re thinking of hosting a “Sex and the City” Martini party? Here you’ll find everything you need to pull of an unforgettable evening of female bonding.

Decorations

When decorating for a “Sex and the City” Martini Party, remember to celebrate each of the girls’ individual tastes. There should be plenty of shoes and tiny purses around, and perhaps some “I (heart) NY” stuff as well. Around your party room can be “icons” of each character, like an open laptop and lots of clothes laying around for Carrie, preppy items that only Charlotte would have (think plaid!), sexy and passionate colors for Samantha, and Miranda’s area of the party room would look professional but a bit nerdy.

Food and Drink

When planning food for your “Sex and the City” Martini Party, you may want to order in Chinese food, which is a big comfort food on the show for the girls. Other food ideas include shrimp, sushi, Mexican or any other fare from one of the New York City restaurants the girls may have been bonding in during one of the episodes. Of course, the featured drink will be Cosmopolitans, but Apple-tinis should also be offered.

Dress

It’s all about looking like you’re partying in New York City, with short skirts, tight fitting tops and shoes to die for! Guests may choose to dress as one of the characters on the show, not only the four main characters, but also any of the recurring or significant roles that have popped up during the show.

“Look Charlotte brought party favors!”

Last but not least, the party favors. They can be joke items like tampons. This comes from the episode where Miranda finds out she’s pregnant and Charlotte finds out she’s not. Charlotte brings a rather large box of tampons to brunch and slams them down on the table. Carrie then says “Look, Charlotte brought party favors.” Other ideas include any “I (heart) NY” stuff or Cosmopolitan mix.

To set the mood of your party with cool decorations and party favors, there’s lots and lots of Sex and the City [http://www.my-martini-party.com/] stuff.

Have fun and when the guys show up, you can give them cool nicknames based on their individual quirks.

For everything you need for your next martini party, please visit MyMartiniParty.com [http://www.my-martini-party.com/]. There’s a free martini party planner to help you with your party.